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Next day at Nobucks, Simon and Nobucks manager Scott discover their mutual love of Jewel, after which Simon convinces Jorge he has the plan to pay back their student loans: they’ll become “entrepreneurs” in the gig economy (Song: Welcome To The Gig Economy).

They begin as Lyft drivers, until a drunk vomiting entitled Millennial pukes all over the car as her designer pet ferret attacks Simon’s face while driving. They end up at Nobucks’ exclusive health care provider, where the pill popping Dr. Bob treats Simon’s injuries (Song: Hello, I’m Dr. Bob!). 

Next, they join Task Rabbit, and are sent out on a mysterious mission involving power tools.  When they arrive, they discover they’re there to power-sand a senior citizen’s fungus ridden curled toenails. Jorge is blinded by flying toenail shrapnel. They return to Dr. Bob’s (Song: Hello, I’m Dr. Bob, Again!)

Their third attempt is delivering for Instacart. They pick up a container of Himalayan ice chips from the airport that must be delivered to the exclusive Country Club before they melt. But they melt. So our duo replaces them with a bag of ice from the gas station. They arrive at the Country Club with the counterfeit ice to find Amy posing as an undercover waitress and conducting “recon” for her conspiracy investigation. The maître d’ immediately spots the fake ice cubes and takes them down with his taser, resulting in one more trip to Dr. Bob’s.  

Meanwhile, Amy finds herself serving the fake Himalayan ice to none other than our Billionaire Villain Trio, who are dining together. Her conspiracy suspicions grow.  

In the end, our duo finds themselves back at Simon’s tent dejected and injured, with their marijuana supplies running dangerously low. They blaze up with Bruce the Squirrel, as Simon assures Jorge not to worry, his next plan will be bigger, better and impossible to fail.

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The next day at Nobucks, Jorge gets a frantic call from Rosalita. Sallie Rae Collections is foreclosing on their sandwich shop and apartment because she cosigned his student loans. Jorge is crushed with guilt. Thanks to him, they’re going to lose their home and business, everything his mom and deceased Papi had worked so hard for. (Song: Worst. Son. Ever.)   

Simon receives his own bad news when his estranged father shows up with disownment paperwork to sign that carves him out of his will because “he’s a failure and will never amount to anything”. (Song: Worst. Son. Ever.)  

Simon convinces Jorge they could avoid foreclosure by Airbnb’ing their apartment, and move in with him at the campgrounds (Song:  You Can Be My Family). Jorge and Rosalita reluctantly agree to the plan, and rent it out to a seemingly sedate group of German seniors who are in town for a dog show.

All is going well at the KOA campgrounds. Jorge bonds with nature, as Rosalita teaches Bruce the Squirrel the art of sandwich making. But then a group of Bruce’s Disney’esque forest animal friends arrive freaking out. They take them into the forest where the trees are all being cleared. They find Amy there investigating. She explains that the Country Club is expanding their property to build what looks like a secret underground bunker. 

Problems also arise with the German Airbnb’ers. After getting a call from their neighbor about strange noises and weird music coming from the building, Simon and Jorge go to investigate. They arrive to find thumping techno music and the building full of people dressed in strange leather outfits. (Song: Whips & Chains). The police show up, and they’re all hauled off to jail, where they find out the Germans were not there for a dog show, but instead for an illegal underground S&M swinger convention, which they hosted at the building. They’re forced to spend all their Airbnb earnings on bail. 

Simon and Jorge return to the campgrounds. Things are bad. They’re down to their last joint, and their debts and problems just keep piling up. But Simon, the eternal optimist, assures Jorge his next plan is definitely going to work.

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Now out of weed, and with their students debts and foreclosure looming, our duo is desperate for a plan. Amy reluctantly introduces them to the Darknet (Song: On The Darknet). There Simon finds the solution to all their problems: manufacturing crystal meth for the Russian mob.

At Jorge and Rosalita’s apartment, Nicolai arrives, a violent Russian gangster who angrily refuses Rosalita’s offer of sandwiches. Rosalita wonders why. With the sandwiches uneaten, Nicolai drops off the meth chemicals and lab supplies, giving them one week to cook a kilo of meth and pay for the supplies.   

Reading from a manual, Simon assures Jorge they got this (Song: How To Cook Crystal Meth). But of course they don’t, as escalating blunders lead to a massive explosion and a beaker embedded in Jorge’s forehead. The supplies are destroyed, with not a speck of crystal meth to show for it. They now have a new problem to solve: how are they going to pay back the Russian Mob? 

They find their answer at Dr. Bob’s. While removing the beaker in Jorge’s forehead, Dr. Bob tells them about a sure way to pay off all their debts: sell their internal organs! (Song: Who Needs Two (When One Will Do)). Simon thinks it’s a great idea. Jorge, not so much.

While Simon and Jorge argue over their latest plan, Amy continues to monitor the bunker construction. Out of her sight, the Billionaire Villains tour the nearly completed underground facility, which looks like something from “Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom”. 

Simon and Jorge end up back at Simon’s tent, with Jorge sporting a bloody bandage from the freshly-removed beaker. There they smoke a harsh concoction of old roaches and weed remnants from the cushions and carpet. Simon assures Jorge the organ selling plan is their only way out of this mess. Jorge is afraid Simon might be right. 

LISTEN TO THE SONGS:

Back at Nobucks, our duo has no meth, no money, and only twenty-four hours before they meet with Nicolai. Simon pleads with Jorge to follow Dr. Bob’s advice and each sell a kidney. But why stop there Simon points out, as he dreams of selling all his “extra” organs, and buying his mansion in Ibiza where he’ll drive his Lambo and DJ massive raves (Song: We’ll Be Rich!). Jorge however dreams of a different future, with a nightmare-fantasy of he and Amy in bed, with one testicle, while hooked up to a dialysis machine.

The next day at Nobucks, Nicolai comes to collect. But after finding out they don’t have the money or product, he shockingly leaves without saying a word. They go to Taco Bell to celebrate with some Chalupas. On their way back though, a black van pulls up and Simon and Jorge are abducted by Russian thugs.

They wake up shackled to the wall in a Russian Souvenir Shop. Dennis The Dismemberer enters and prepares to pull out their toenails. (Song: This Little Piggy). But then Dennis’s mother calls demanding milk for her tea, and a bottle of vodka. Our duo is left panicking and cuffed to the wall, until a life-sized Russian Nesting Doll tips over and expels Amy, who’s there on the trail of the Villain conspiracy (Song: I Told You I Wasn’t Crazy). She breaks them free, and they barely escape on the city bus still wearing the shackles attached to sections of wall.

They make it safely to the Sandwich Shop when Nicolai arrives with a machete. Before any damage is done, Rosalita interrupts with a tray of triple-decker BLTs, and borrows Nicolai’s Machete to spread the mayo. Nicolai takes one bite, and is enraptured by Rosalita and her sandwiches. He sings about his sandwich-deprived childhood in Siberia (Song: My Mamochka). His heart softens and he gives them one more week to pay off their crystal meth debts.

Simon and Jorge return to his tent with no weed to smoke. That is until Bruce surprises them with a joint. They puff it up, Jorge finally agrees with Simon that it’s time to sell a kidney.

LISTEN TO THE SONGS:

It’s Kidney Extraction Day at Dr. Bob’s. Simon and Jorge lie on surgery tables, side by side, as Dr. Bob pops pills and preps the anesthesia.

Amy crashes the surgery and pleads with Jorge to abandon his crazy kidney selling plan. He refuses, until Amy finally reveals her true feelings for him (Song: I Would Be Sad If You Were Dead). Surprised and touched, Jorge makes it a duet, revealing he feels the same way and that he’s had enough of Simon’s crazy plans. He leaves with Amy, sad to abandon his BFF but happy not to be selling a kidney.  

With the bromance in tatters, Simon is crushed and left alone on the operating table. At first he tells himself he doesn’t need Jorge but eventually realizes that Jorge was right. This is all his fault (Song: Who Needs Two When One Will Do (Sad Reprise)). He decides he’s going to make things right and go ahead with the kidney extraction to save them from the Russian mob, save Jorge and Rosalita’s home and business, and maybe even pay off some of their student loans.

Dr. Bob gives Simon the anesthesia, but shorts Simon with a few whiffs for himself. Because of this, the anesthesia wears off and Simon finds himself at the Country Club. He figures he must be getting a nice meal before the kidney removal. But as they descend down a spiral ramp into the depths of the building, it dawns on Simon that something is not right. He eventually realizes that Dr. Bob is taking him to the secret underground bunker, where he’s delivered to a pack of chanting hooded figures who strap him down to a stone altar. As cauldrons of fire burn around him, the hooded figures begin the ceremony (Song: We Are The Order Of Superior Beings). He tries to scream, but can’t thanks to the ball-gag stuck in his mouth. They administer more anesthesia, and as Simon loses consciousness, the last thing he sees is one of the hooded figures revving a surgical saw and lowering it towards him. He passes out.

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Back at Nobucks, Nicolai is on his way to either collect payment or inflict serious bodily harm. Simon is nowhere to be found and Jorge assumes it’s because his best friend has left him to take the beating for both of them. Jorge is furious. (Song: This Is How I Die).   

As Jorge hauls the trash out to the alley, a black van pulls up with Nicholai and Dennis the Dismemberer, his toe nail pliers in hand. Just as Jorge’s about to lose his big toenail, there’s a BING!, as Nicolai receives a Venmo notification that their debts have been paid.

Relieved but confused, Jorge rushes to Dr. Bob’s. There he learns that Simon sold his kidney to pay off the Russian mob, but is now in a “little” coma (Song: Just A Little Coma). Dr. Bob conveniently leaves out the part about the Order of Superior Beings. 

Jorge sits at Simon’s bedside, his BFF unconscious and hooked up to tubes and pumps. Jorge is devastated. But as Jorge cries, we enter Simon’s “coma world” where he is having the time of his life, riding a giant joint through the cosmos, DJ’ing massive raves and eating Taco Bell fed to him by hot shirtless men. Eventually he “sees the light”, where an obscure figure appears from a distance. Simon thinks it’s God, but then realizes it’s George Michaels, whose hair still looks great. He’s a big fan. George tells Simon “you gotta have faith”, and that it’ s not his time yet. He still has work to do on Earth. But first, he must get honest with himself and the ones he loves (Song: Let Your Flag Fly). 

Back in reality, Jorge leaves Simon to go to work, but promises he will somehow make this right. This time, Jorge will come up with the plan.

LISTEN TO THE SONGS:

Back at Nobucks, Scott the manager announces their store has won the Nobucks Goodtime Corporate Bonus Points Sales Competition. This means they get to attend the super exclusive annual yacht gala thrown by Nobucks owner, E.F. Harrington. Wearing his best yachting suit, Scott leads his staff to the party. 

But when they arrive at the yacht, they’re given aprons and trays of hors d’oeuvres to serve. Scott realizes they’re not there as guests but as help. Scott is devastated and betrayed (Song: Oh E.F.) He spills the beans on E.F.’s long list of dirty secrets, including rumors that he is part of a secret society of super rich people that have extra organs installed to make them immortal. Eventually they put the pieces together and figure out where Simon’s kidney is. It’s in E.F.! 

For the first time, Jorge is fully activated and ready to take action (Song: The Loser’s Anthem). So with Google instructions and Amy’s help, they anesthetize E.F. with Nobucks Cleaning Solution #5, and use a bevy of kitchen utensils to steal back Simon’s kidney. With the kidney successfully removed, they staple him shut. But he’s leaking. So they super-glue him closed. Which does the job, except now Jorge’s finger is glued to E.F.’s nipple. Eventually finger and nipple are separated, and they escape the yacht with Simon’s kidney in a cooler.    

They rush to Dr. Bob’s, where they confront him about what happened with Simon’s kidney. He breaks down and confesses, explaining that it was the only way he could pay off his Sallie Rae medical school loans. He reinstalls the kidney into Simon. Post-op, Jorge waits by Simon’s bedside, remembering all the good times (Song: Bromance). Simon awakens. He joins Jorge in the song and reveals the secret that he’s been keeping all these years: he’s gay. Jorge reveals, he’s totally fine with that. They’re still BFF’s and always will be.

LISTEN TO THE SONGS:

At the campgrounds, Jorge and Bruce the Squirrel nurse Simon back to health. Simon vows no more of his crazy plans. But now it’s Amy who has the crazy plan, after investigations reveal her initial conspiracy theories were just the tip of the iceberg. Not only are the Billionaire Villains milking students for tuition and garnished wages, but they’re also the founders of the Order of Superior Beings, a diabolical organization of billionaires that stalks debt-ridden college grads to sell their organs, which they then install as extras for strength and immortality (Song: This Is How It Works (Reprise)). 

Amy proposes they form a vigilante group to steal back all the extra organs, and return them to their rightful owners. Like Robin Hood, but with body parts instead of money. Simon and Jorge give it a big “hell yeah”, and together they form “The Organizers”.

A musical montage follows with triptychs of simultaneous James Bond-ian missions, the trio in reflective glasses and cool sexy spy clothes, ambushing billionaires when they least expect it: down-hill skiing in Vale; on a gold toilet in Vegas; and in the back seat of a white Phantom Rolls Royce limo (Song: You’ve Been Organized).

Following the organ recoveries, they enlist the now repentant Dr. Bob to reinstall the organs, showing up to the former owners’ houses like the Publisher Clearinghouse Sweepstakes, but with a pop-up surgery O.R. The grateful sickly college grads are reunited with their missing organs, and all is well with the world. 

That is until they return to the Sandwich shop to celebrate, where the foreclosure is in full swing. Rosalita is crushed as the Sallie Rae Debt Collectors chuck all of their possessions out on the street, directed by none other than Sallie Rae in her limo. Simon and Jorge realize for all the good they’ve done, they’re still buried in debt with no way out (Song: Back Where We Started). But then the foreclosure comes to a screeching halt. Someone has paid off the building debt. Rosalita bursts into tears, wondering who her secret angel is.

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The Organizers embark on their final organ recovery mission: a third testicle recently installed into E.F. Harrington. The Organizers break into E.F.’s chateau, thinking they’re entering his bedroom, but end up in his panic room where the steel door seals them in. It’s a trap. Gas seeps in as E.F. announces over the speaker, “Time for the Organizers to be organized!”  

They wake up in the giant underground cavern strapped to the ceremonial altars. The hooded Order members chant and prepare them for the extractions. (Song: The Order of Superior Beings (Reprise)). As the surgical saws rev up, the members remove their hoods to reveal not only our Billionaire Villain trio, but a variety of the elite and powerful, including well known D.C. politicians and business tycoons. The hoodies inform Simon, Jorge and Amy that they’re going to remove every organ that the Organizers “stole”. In other words, they’re about to die. 

Rosalita and Scott break in and attempt to fight off the hoodies with weaponized sandwiches and hot coffee. A valiant effort, but it fails. Next Nicolai shows up with his machete and Denis The Dismemberer. Another valiant effort, but ultimately unsuccessful. With everyone strapped to the altars and certain death imminent, the dirt floor rumbles. Exploding through the ground is Bruce the Squirrel and his army of forest animals. The sweet looking Disney critters go into violent attack mode, on a mission to save their friends and their forest (Song: The Loser’s Anthem (Reprise)).

A bloody battle ends with a surgical saw between E.F.’s legs. His extra testicle rolls across the floor. Nicolai reveals it is his and that he sold it to save Rosalita’s shop. Nicolai and Rosalita embrace. Scott professes his love for Simon. Jorge and Amy make out. Dr. Bob saves the testicle.    

In the end the good guys win. Sallie Rae, with the surgical saw at her neck, is forced to wipe out their student loan debts, and as for Cardell U. ... smash cut to next year’s graduation.  There we meet the new deans – Simon and Jorge! (Song: Dudes It’s Graduation! (Reprise)). 

The season ends with all the good guys smoking up on the couch at Simon’s tent. Jorge asks, “What do we do next?” Simon’s eyes light up – “I have a plan!